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January 12, 2012

Fear Ruins Everything

Fear ruins everything. I mean, there’s the fear of cobras which is completely logical and, you know, lifesaving. There’s the fear of spiders which, you would be CRAZY not to have. Crazy. did I mention crazy? Well, okay, my fear of spiders is a little over the top, but I consider this a lifesaving type of fear. But then, when it keeps me out of my office because there’s a spider in the corner…nope. Still logical. I digress.

General, daily, insecurity type fear, ruins EVERYTHING.

It makes it take too long to get dressed cuz you worry about how you look in whatever jeans and DO THEY MAKE YOUR BUTT LOOK BIG?? It makes you not query that agent because…they might reject you. It makes it hard to find the right words to type in your MS, because you’re afraid of ruining it, or you’re afraid it won’t be good. Or that no one will want to read it. Or buy it.

Fear protects us sometimes. From cobra bites and wiggy icky spider legs. And sometimes from rejection. But unlike cobra bites and being touched by a spider, rejection and failure aren’t fatal. (Shut up. Being touched by a spider is fatal.)

It’s like gymnastics. No really, go with me. Sometimes you stick your landing just fine, sometimes you land on your butt. Sometimes you straddles the balance beam and it hurts like HECKA BAD and sometimes, your hand slips off the parallel bars, you hit your chin on the low bar, land funny and break your ankle. That last one can really mess you up, man. None of it’s fatal. Sometimes you mess up because you only sort of half committed to that big flip, rather than giving it your all. Because fear can do that to you. It can cause the failure. It can keep you from getting back up.

But what if you got back up and you did it next time? and you WON?? You won’t know if you don’t try. You won’t try if you let fear stop you. There will be challenges. No matter what stage of the game you’re in, no matter what stage of LIFE you’re in. Sometimes you won’t stick your landing. I don’t every time. But I DO know this: When I let fear control me, I’m not as good of a writer as I can be. I don’t jump as high. I don’t go as far. That means it doesn’t get to play in this part of my life. When you give it your all, the fall still hurts. But at least you know you tried EVERYTHING.

If you try again, you’ll still be hurt, but you have a chance to make that pain mean something. To come out on the other side with your goals achieved. With that painful MS written, with your dream contract, or with lots and lots of sale.

If you give up halfway through, all you have is a broken ankle. You get the hurt, without the reward. If you get up again, you’ll still have a broken ankle. But you might get a gold medal too. And that makes it worth it.

Hammering the point home with this video of Kerri Strug in the 1996 Olympics. Because this is what it looks like to try again, with no fear, to push past the pain, and win.


Comments

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  1. Wow! I never saw that video before. It’s brought a tear to my eye. Talk about SPIRIT – team spirit.- go Kerri. Thanks Maisey. Caroline x

  2. p.s and as Franklin D R said – “(the)Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself “. Caroline x

  3. Keri was sooo brave. Really amazing. Just because you’be fallen is no reason to give up.

  4. Caroline, it always makes me cry. I remember watching it on TV. It was a big deal since the US was hosting the olympics. We sang a song and made a video at my school and they played all these schools singing the olympics song at the opening ceremony. It was called The Power of the Dream and I still remember it.

    Julia, she was! It’s inspiring still.

  5. You owe me tissues! That made me cry. Where was the sob warning???

    Seriously, though, that fear thing was killing me last night. I love my new wip. It’s all shiny and the possibilities are endless. CPs like first chapter. So how can I write now because any words I write may well mess it all up. Grrrr. I hate the fear.

    Because I love to share, here’s a video for you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFKpZnok10s

  6. Catherine, hehe…sorry, but now we’re even because your video made ME cry.

    I know that fear. The fear of messing it up, or finding out it’s not as great as you thought. But it’s worthless fear. It doesn’t do anything for us.

    You have to remember…you might learn something. You might sell it. Those are the ones to hold onto. 😉

  7. Wow. That’s awesome! *kicks fear out the door*

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