In Which I Rant a Rant That Has Been Ranted Before
So, it’s come to my attention that we women are too stupid to handle reading fiction. Yeah, I didn’t think that sounded right either. But if you read the recent (oh, heck, recent? What am I saying…the constant, tired, old…) articles going on about romance novels, that’s the impression you’d get.
Because readers of romance must be lacking something, their lives must be sad hollow shells. Reading it will distort their perspective. Poor little dears.
I’m sorry but a great big WHAT THE HECK??
Is anyone worried about men watching action movies? Reading Lord of the Rings because it might make them dissatisifed with the world we live in and long for the shires of and elven woods of Middle Earth? NO. You don’t.
I am tired. Sick to death of defending my genre from those who find it either low-brow or ‘dangerous’ somehow. I am sick to death of defending my career choice and my reading choice.
Because not only are romances seen as low-brow and somehow beneath the true intellectuals, there are those who have called them dangerous. Dangerous to women’s psyches. Dangerous to marriage.
Because somehow they believe that if women read about monogamous, romantic relationships they will grow dissatisfied with being in a monogamous romanctic relationship. Wait…how does that make sense?
What do romances portray? Loving relationships with mutual respect, emotional and sexual satisfaction.
Well, good gravy we can’t have the womenfolk wanting that. Next they’ll want the right to vote!
Women can read fiction without believing they really should be a virgin secretary being seduced by a Greek billionaire. Why? Because…well, we’re smart like that. Just like men seem to be able to watch action movies without being convinced they’re going to engage in a car chase, and then get it on with the super hot chick that’s riding shot gun after the mayhem has died down.
It’s silly to think a man who watches too many Jason Statham movies would suddenly trade his life as a cubicle dweller in for the life of a hired assassin. And yet…it seems to be a school of thought that women who read fiction, romance specifically, will lose their hold on reality and try to trade their man in for Fabio. Or something.
But what’s the real concern here? That a woman might learn to have standards? That she might desire a loving relationship? That she might..oh no! Expect sex to be GOOD with her husband? Or is it really that men don’t want to have to live up to any kind of standard? Do they not want their wives to know that men can treat women well? Is it abusers who don’t want women reading romances and waking up to the fact that there are men who treasure their wives rather than hitting them every day? Or is it that they just don’t want to have to be a hero to their wives because it’s too much work?
My husband, in response to the controversy on twitter yesterday said: Poor inferior men.
Because my husband isn’t threatened by the men in a novel. My husband knows that I don’t want a yacht, or a penthouse or a castle in the highlands. I want his love. He knows that when I read a romance novel I remember what it was like to fall in love with him, that it brings back good feelings. He knows that when I’ve spent the day doing laundry and changing diapers, I’ll probably feel sexy at the end of the day because my mind had a chance to focus on ROMANCE.
Romance doesn’t hurt my marriage. If anything, it’s helped it. I am not so stupid that I suddenly believe an Italian billionaire with a mullet needs to sweep me off my feet so that I can truly be happy.
That isn’t what the books are about. They are about love. And if you thinkg wanting love in your marriage is an unrealistic expectation I feel sorry for you.
Romance novels remind me why love is important. They remind me why I need romance in my life with my own personal hero.
If there are problems in a marriage, then those involved should look at the issues, not cast blame. You can’t point the finger at romance novels for a lack of communication or a lack of love and respect.
And if wanting love and respect is a fantasy, then I’m not joining reality.
I love romance novels. My husband loves that I love them. No dissatisfaction here.
Comments
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All I can say is “Well said”! I’ve been a romance reader since I was about 13. All through my university days I still read romance – openly – I hasten to add. Some people raised eyebrows at my “choice” of reading material, some said that they too read romances! I think there will always be 2 camps – unfortunately! Caroline x
This is exactly what I was thinking during all of the kerfluffle over that silly article. I don’t want to trade my husband in for a newer model at the end of good romance novel.
Yes, he forgets to take care of things, heck, he forgets whole conversations we’ve had. We bicker when we are tired or worried over bigger problems. But he is a good man. He stopped to change a flat tire for a woman on the side of the road this week. It isn’t the first time he’s done something like that. He reminds me not to lose my temper when the teens do something breathtakingly stupid. Again. He has held my hand at weddings and funerals.
A great romance reminds me of why I love my husband. He is my hero.
My feeling is that people like this aren’t worthy of the effort to argue with them. I don’t care what they think.
More importantly . . .GOOD GOD, Maisey . . . a MULLET?!? (picturing Richard Dean Anderson AKA McGyver masquerading as an Italian Billionaire is **cough **interesting, to say the least!)
Caroline, I read them publicly as well. Loud and proud, baby!
Julia, that’s so touching, and so true.
Aimee, likely you’re right. *sigh* I will confess, I tweeted at one of the women involved in the article and had a decent exchange with her. I hope she can find some new perspective.
I had to use the mullet example because I MIGHT leave my husband for an Italian billinaire with fabulous hair. (I’M KIDDING!!)
I missed the controversy. Can I just reiterate my position? People are dumb. Romance is not. That is all.
Good for you, Maisey! maybe it is worth the effort, especially if it makes a difference. But dealing with close minded people exhausts me.
* Maisey Yates . . .educating the ignorant, one tweet at a time.
Go gettum, girl!
Preach, sister! That’s really all I have to say b/c you’ve said it so beautifully.
I do find lots of times if people try to make me feel embarrassed about reading romance novels I drop a gentle conversational hint that they might be a bit of a prude. No, it’s not playing fair and nice, but it tends to shut most people up.
Well, except the real serious prudes. And there’s no hope for them. 😉
Well said, Maisey! I’ve been an avid romance reader since I was 15. There’s nothing wrong with believing in love and having a fantasy or two, especially after doing mundane chores all day.
Jackie, it’s true. People are stupid. And also weird.
Aimee, I try, especially as I feel they were being sincere and not just blindly hateful or anything. Not sure I convinced her of anything, but hey, I *did* try.
Jill, why anyone should feel the need to belittle someone’s reading choices is beyond me. You don’t have to love the same books I do, but let me love them, for heaven’s sake!
Lorrain, isn’t that the truth!