January 23, 2012

Learning Every Day

So basically, I’m a cartoon character. No, really. I am. If you don’t believe me, I’ll tell you about the time my husband was out of town and I was driven to keep things organized and spotless. (My husband does a fair amount of the cleaning around here…)

So the kids were in bed and I was getting set to vacuum. And I managed to suck the string for our mini-blinds up into the vacuum, yank them off the window and OH YEAH ALMOST START A FIRE. Also, Danger baby peed on my laptop a couple of years back and fried it. Yeah, I have a gift. I’ve slipped and spilled a latte on my face in the Starbucks parking lot, had every eletronic I own malfunction while I tried to send an important email, and just recently the ice maker in my fridge randomly broke and flooded the kitchen.

So, me, at best a sitcom character from the 90s, at worst, Donald Duck.

I say this because I think it’s important for people to know I don’t have all mah crap together. Not even close. Every day is a learning experience for me while I try to balance being a wife (which I’ve only been for going on 7 years…) a mom (even newer at 5 years) a home owner (4 years) and a writer (2 years). While I try to figure out how in the world I’m supposed to get everything done!

It’s chaotic, and hilarious, and evolves constantly. The biggest thing I’ve leared is not to expect it all to go according to a schedule. At this point, it just can’t. I have been learning (continually…daily) that if things don’t go according to plan, I just have to improvise.

I’m learning that what I thought was true about kids before I had them…isn’t. At least for mine. And that I have to be willing to adjust my expectations of them, and myself, on a daily basis.

I’m learning that I married a patient and forgiving man, and he’s learning how to cook.

I’m learning that sometimes there is nothing that feels better than being able to close my office door and have a moment to myself. Even if it’s ‘work’.

I’m also learning that some days I want to avoid work when I can’t. And that it’s hard to try and explain to someone ‘no, I can’t, I have work to do.’ when you’re the boss of your own schedule.

I’m learning that when your husband tries to help and puts regular dishsoap in the dishwasher and causes a suds flood…the best thing to do is laugh. And maybe use the extra soap the mop the floor. (because Lord knows it needs it)

I’m learning that every day can be an adventure. That even if a day is hard, it can be salvaged by a smile from one of the kids.

I don’t have it all together. I don’t have it all figured out. I don’t have organized lists of tasks I get completed every day. But I’m having fun. And I’m learning.

I think that’s all any of us can really ask of ourselves.


14 Responses | TrackBack URL | Comments Feed

  1. Ouch to the coffee in the face! But soon you’ll be able to hire someone to carry your coffee for you ๐Ÿ˜‰ Problem solved! Congratulations on two years of being a writer. It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long already!

    The only thing missing from your house is a dog. A dog would be delighted with a suds flood and would probably try to “help” you clean it up too. Do you have a fur child?

  2. […] Romance author Maisey Yates on having your stuff together (or not). See also our interview with Maisey here. […]

  3. Lacey, I have a cat. A cat who is content, generally, to ignore my existence as long as I put food out. :p Anyway, Apollo Ohno hardly counts as a fur baby since he tends to ignore ALL of us.

    But yeah…the coffee in the face hurt. Thought not as bad as my toe, which got scraped across the pavement during the incident…

  4. I think I’m going to print your blog post and stick it above my desk with the bit about not everything going to schedule highlighted. Sigh – why does it take us working moms so long to get that not only can we not control everything, but we shouldn’t? Sometimes it’s okay to improvise too.

    Thanks for the post, Maisey.

  5. I think one of the most important things I learned from being a parent is to go with the flow. Kids are never what you expect. And if you finally figure them out well enough to predict them, they go ahead and grow up a little bit more. I’ve had no choice but to be more flexible and surf the wave of upheaval that life can be. I feel like Steve Martin in Parenthood, stuck on that roller coaster. Sometimes I even enjoy it.

  6. It’s a constant learning process, isn’t it?
    I’m shuddering thinking how many things that sentence can be applied to…but u said it right, all we can ask of ourselves is to do the best….

  7. Ah, thanks for this! I am not alone! Juggling being a mother, wife and a writer, plus the part time job thrown in for good measure – I started as a dinner lady today at my kids’ school (plus I work at a Tesco Express weekends).

    I used to be a really organised person, until I had kids. I still am semi organised. I meal plan so that we eat accordingly to what clubs are on that day etc.

    But I’ve decided that while I will continue to write, and write, and write, whenever I can, I am calling it my long term project. Because some days, a bit like today, I’ve just not been able to do what I most want to do, and that is write. And however desperate I feel about getting published, I just need to look at it as a big mountain (or rock) and chip away at it one day at a time. Because putting pressure on myself to achieve ‘being published’ just causes too much stress.

  8. The life of a wife & mother – constantly juggling this, that and the next thing. Thank goodness for husbands who can muck in. Maisey, for what it’s worth, I think you are doing brilliantly. Really. Three kids under the age of five? Four or five books published a year. However, you manage it, whether it’s organised or all over the place your output is pretty awesome. And ‘me time’ – so important.

  9. Apollo Ohno is such a great name! What type of cat is he?

  10. P.S. I hope your toe wasn’t permanently mangled ๐Ÿ™

  11. It’s true, she is a cartoon character. ๐Ÿ™‚ Seriously, closing that office door is like heaven on earth eh?

  12. Aww, now see? This makes me love you MORE. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Keep it up, lady. Like Aerosmith says, “Life’s a journey, not a destination.”

    (Yeah. They said it, too.)

  13. Romy, glad you liked the post! It’s so hard to find balance…and then to be okay with the balance we find! I think we’re too hard on ourselves, really.

    LOL, Julia, it is a bit like that isn’t it! All you can do is hang on and enjoy the ride.

    Sri, life is a learning process right? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Teresa, that’s a LOT on one plate. But I think you have it right. Just keep writing. And writing. One day at a time! And you’ll make amazing progress.

    Alexandra, awww! Well thank you! I just feel like I have so many good things in my life…a lot, yes, but GOOD.

    Lacey, no permanently no! And I don’t know what breed he is. He’s just a black cat!

    Jackie, :p also, yeah it is its own sort of heaven, I tell you. That writing IS my me time is very helpful for my schedule!!

    Jessica ^_^ aww!

  14. […] Learning Every Day Maisey Yates on how it’s okay not to have it all figured out. Quote: “I say this because I think it’s important for people to know I don’t have all mah crap together. Not even close.” Books, reading and reviewing […]

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